Dear you,
It's not your fault that's I'm that insecure of a person. It's not your fault that I need to be constantly reminded how beautiful or smart you think I am, as of for now. I know it's stupid, tiresome, frustrating...or whatever you call it. I want you to know that it's not how I want to be. You'll say that it's up to me, but it's not something I can change over night. You'll tell me not to worry, but I need something more than those words. I try, dearest, and sometimes I think I already get a hold of it, but after some time it slips away. If there's an explanation for why I change my mind so often, this is it.
Now, I'm not trying to justify my irrational thoughts or behaviors. I simply want to communicate how I feel and what I think and tell you that I think I already hold the key to the root of the problem. It all started because I didn't become what I wanted to be. In order not to feel the necessity to gain people's approval, I need to believe in myself. I need to try and thrive and succeed and it's not gonna happen in one attempt. However, when I do, I'll finally get rid of this problem.
I'm walking towards it one step at a time. When I get there, it won't probably be you, waiting. It's okay because I know people always get to be with people at their level. Whatever I told you every time we fought, you know it's not true. You're smart and compassionate. Whatever happens at the finish line, I know for sure that I will finally be happy. I want you to be happy too.
Yours,
that girl.
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